My childhood dream was to compete in the Olympics, and I pursued this dream for twenty years.
As a top world -ranked whitewater kayaking competitor, my relentless pursuit of excellence - I thought - was about achieving my highest human potential.
I was seeking validation outside of myself and thinking that I needed to be the best in the world in order to feel worthy of love.
I used alcohol as a tool to quiet my extremely harsh inner critic and numb my sensitivity.
After a relationship breakup in 2010, I enrolled in a 10 day Vipassana Meditation course.
Sitting with myself for 11 hours a day left me with some undeniable truths.
If I was to die right then I would have a lot of regrets.
My actions when I was drunk were not in alignment with who I knew I really was. I committed there and then to quit drinking alcohol and get myself back into alignment.
I came out of competition retirement and dove back into training as a whitewater kayaking athlete and set my sights on winning the world championships, while at the same time white knuckling my sobriety.
My self esteem was zero, and my mental state felt crazy.
Without alcohol as a tool, I turned to exercise and adrenaline sports to calm the incessant inner critic in my mind.
When I failed at my second world title attempt I saw through the illusion. Being the world champion was not going to bring me the internal love and acceptance I was seeking, even if I did achieve it.
I followed my intuition and the little voice inside that was quietly nudging me to journey within.
I let go of my sport to pursue the path of yoga.
I came to India in 2012 and was led to yoga masters, energy healers, and spiritual teachers who showed me the way.
Mental clarity, freedom of thought, and present moment awareness: inner states I chased as an extreme athlete; I experiences now through spiritual practice, independent of external conditions.
The discipline, determination, stamina, focus, and strength that helped me as an elite athlete have fueled my spiritual transformation and helped me to stay 12 years clean and sober.
I have created a program that combines all the tools that still help me to live my best AF life on a daily basis.
We help you to navigate sobriety in a way that feels supportive, with an intimate group of other women just like you.
I can’t wait to welcome you into our sacred tribe!
Namaste.
Polly